Have you ever watched a pride of lionesses hunt?
Fierce.
Lethal.
Accurate.
Swift.
Communal.
These are the toughest of the tough, providing for their community and protecting their loved ones at all costs. They are most definitely at the top of the food chain, and don’t let anyone forget it. They work to stay there, and have garnered respect from the rest of the animal kingdom.
This week, I’m putting on my wilderness boots and going out to meet the lionesses of industry and commerce. I’m talking global influence, the highest of the high-powered, top of the economic food chain. You better believe they’ve worked for every inch of their territory, and continue to work 24/7 to protect their investments and people.
So I’m sitting with these women, one-on-one, looking at these pictures of powerful success, all telling me the same thing: “I’m alone. I have to do it by myself.”
And like clockwork, I watch each concrete exterior crumble, revealing an over-worked, vulnerable, flesh-and-bones human woman.
“I have to do it all myself or it might not work.”
“I don’t want to burden my team by asking them for help.”
“My family needs me to be the strong one, so I can’t let them know when I need support.”
So we hit the pause button, because we’re facing down the Lie.
The Lie says you need to do it alone. Community will fail you. Your needs are weaknesses. Your needs aren’t serving the goal, so they can’t be addressed. You’re a burden if you ask for help. Slowly severing all our connections to vital relationship and support, alienating us from ourselves and our worthiness to be seen.
Although parts of these women’s lives differ from the vast majority, we all face the Lie. And doesn’t it just disguise itself in the most valiant of costumes:
Selflessness.
Diligence.
Independence.
We might tell ourselves that we’re exercising these traits, but in reality, they cannot be practiced in a void. You need your Dream Team to help you balance responsibility, aspiration, and emotional well-being.
It’s about (once more for the people in the back)
B A L A N C E.
The fact is, you cannot do life alone.
The corporate powerhouse and the homemaker both need community and relationships to balance out their needs. When we ask for help, not only are we mitigating our own necessity but we are allowing someone into intimate space and solidifying a bond with them. Vulnerability. Showing people what we need in order to flourish. We begin to build the Dream Team. (at this point it is impossible for me to not mention Brene Brown’s Netflix special…run don’t walk, and prepare to get #vulnerable.)
The Dream Team can be as big or small as Y O U want it to be, but it needs to extend beyond yourself. The key here is Q U A L I T Y. Draft a Dream Team of people that you know will support you, are capable of doing what needs to be done, and are worthy of entering your vulnerable space. And friend, if you can’t think of anyone who fits that bill, then get out there and F I N D them. Ask for them. They will come to you. But chances are you have at least one starting player in your life who’s ready to be called into the game.
So let’s go back to our pride of lionesses: fierce, lethal, accurate, swift, and….
C O M M U N A L.
Nature has necessitated their collaboration for success. They need to work together, or else they won’t survive. Does this diminish their value or efficacy? Not at all. In fact, their collaboration enhances their work. By balancing their needs and strengths in relationship to their Dream Team, they are able to do what they were created to do with ease and accuracy.
You are purposed, beloved, and your purpose is revealed wholly when you allow others to come alongside you, encourage you, and support you. There is no glory in doing it alone. But my friend, there is beauty to be found when you allow yourself to be seen and supported.
Learning how to be vulnerable is not a one-and-done situation. It takes intention, patience, and vision. If you’ve had enough scrambling to do it all yourself, start now.
I’d be delighted to partner with you in taking this vital step toward authenticity and freedom!
Let’s call this round and get back to the drafting board. Who’s on your Dream Team?