Being an entrepreneur means that I get to play.
I get to create the life that I want. And for me, that means being a life coach to some deep, soulful beings. That means singing and sharing music that has expressed the unspeakable for centuries. That means being a wife (still giddy, will be for a long time) to my partner and friend.
There is a lot of dreaming and playing and creativity that goes into the way that I am styling my life, but it comes at a high cost: I work a. lot. And, as many of you know, I’m a recovering perfectionist, and continue to look for the healthy balance between all my passions and goals. For me, though, the cost is so worth it. I’m willing to put in the hours to make this dream life MY life.
Interestingly, many of the themes that come out in conversations with my clients are themes that challenge me on the DAILY. (can you say #humanity?) And I’ve come to understand that these challenges are good. They are vital. They are sharpening.
So I figured, let’s talk it out! One thing I’ve learned is that if one person’s feeling it, chances are they aren’t alone.
Over the next few blog posts, I’m going to share some challenges that I encounter as a coach but that I think we all encounter in life. Whether you’re a parent, businessperson, educator, physician, musician, entrepreneur…WHATEVER you’re doing, I invite you to consider these beautiful challenges and how they can improve your life!
So let’s dive right in, shall we? 🙂
A U T H E N T I C I T Y
Wow, I could write a book here, but I won’t. While I would love to address you all, there isn’t enough space to do each life-situation justice…However, I am *always* happy to set up a call and chat personally. There is nothing I love more than getting knee-deep in your dreams and aspirations and helping create a game-plan for success.
Authenticity is a mine we could dig for years and still find new gems.
“I get passed over for promotions all the time.”
“I’m not happy in my job.”
“I’m not happy with my partner.”
“I want to lose weight but I just can’t.”
These are COMMON jumping off points that I navigate with my coaching clients. They all deal with the relationship with the self and consequently relationships with community. And with each conversation, the truth is reinforced in my heart: Authenticity requires work.
You have to be authentic with yourself.
“Know thyself.” Be honest about your desires and your needs. Do your best to know the corner-iest parts of your heart. It’s hard (and sometimes uncomfortable) work. And friend, it takes years. It takes daily evaluation of how you are experiencing your life. I’m not talking about navel-gazing, I’m talking about honest analysis. It’s impossible for others to know what you want or how you feel if you’re unable to tell them. Additionally, you attract what you exude. Identifying and acting upon your intrinsic motivation will attract people who are similarly motivated to your personal and professional life. The work you do to know yourself WILL. PAY. OFF.
Be authentic with others.
By leading relationships with authenticity, you create a safe space for others to do the same. If ever I feel myself pressured in the moment to be or act like someone who isn’t me, I take 3 slow breaths to come back to myself. It serves no one if I in-authentically act based on what I think someone else wants to hear. Spend some time practicing healthy conflict and conversations with people whose opinions differ from yours. It might be difficult, but it’s a great exercise to hold your position, your authenticity, with love and humility, while listening to another point of view.
Let people be authentic with you.
Have you ever been around someone and you can’t describe why, but you feel totally at ease and like YOU? It’s awesome. And it’s a heck of a lot less work than trying to be someone you’re not, eh? Creating a safe and encouraging space for the people in your life to be themselves will not only serve them, but it will serve you. 10 times out of 10 I experience less stress when I endeavor to see a situation from another’s point of view. (#empathy) Now, this also involves allowing a certain amount of intimacy into your relationships and conversations. Let’s face it, authenticity requires vulnerability. Intimacy. Just how much vulnerability and intimacy is for another post (look out for BOUNDARIES next time, loves!). For now a good rule of thumb is if you feel comfortable, proceed. If you feel uncomfortable, wrap or redirect the conversation. Your space is sacred, and you have complete autonomy regarding who is allowed access to your heart.
The bottom line is, my dear, that your authentic self is gorgeous. It is worthy of love. It is worthy of being seen in community. You are created with a purpose and when you own it, you are literally unstoppable.
If any of this hit home, or if you have any other questions about styling your beautiful life, I would love to talk. I’m here. Drop me a line on the contact page of the website and we’ll make it happen.
You’re beloved, friend! Let the authentic you come out to play today.
Big love,
Ellen